What Are We Doing Here?
saying goodbye and thank you to my students
To my students,
During the leave after my son’s birth in June, I made a difficult decision: I’m resigning from teaching. I felt it was important to share this with you—not just because you deserve the truth, but because I hope you’ll reflect on what it means to advocate for yourself in a world that doesn’t always listen.
Six years ago, I walked into the classroom for the first time, filled with the same mix of excitement and anxiety as on any first day of school. To be honest, I was terrified that I might fail you. The fear of failure was so strong that it kept me up at night where I would work on lessons and stare at the ceiling thinking about how to do something differently in class. Yet, on a few hours of sleep I would get to school early to set up and clean my room before you arrived.
Despite the anxiety, constant state of stress and lack of sleep, I was still excited to show up each day to be your teacher. Every day since then I have been honored to have the opportunity to learn from you.
Sure, there were days when my tiredness turned to crankiness and I went on one of those rants about why you should get more sleep (when I also needed more) or why it was so important to spend less time on your phone - in class and out in the world - but those rants always came from a place of wanting you to have the best.
You deserve the best, are capable of the best, and despite what you may think (or even hear from adults): your voice is more powerful than you think it is.
As you may remember from the first days of class introductions, I switched from a career in advertising to become a teacher, and even spent that first year doing homework alongside you as I completed a Master’s Degree in Education. I made that switch because I believed it was more important to support young people in learning how to navigate a complex world of expanding media and division, and not use that media to convince them that their worth was associated with the burger they ate, shoes they wore, or which phone they used.
School is an opportunity to be curious about the world and discover things that you find interesting. My job was to teach you those things, but also help you develop skills that will help you throughout life. The system makes it difficult to give you what you deserve.
Unfortunately the current system is structured and managed in a way that makes teaching unnecessarily complicated, and trims your brilliance before it can bloom.
The inability of an outdated system run by adults that are stuck in their ways, recycling outdated ideas, while taking out their frustrations of that crumbling system on students so they can have some sense of control in their life, isn’t on you, and is for another discussion at a later time.
I resigned because teaching isn’t my life, it’s my job, a job that was constantly challenging why I got into the field of education. I would rather step away, figure out my contribution to fixing the problem, and then jump back in. It’s not giving up, it’s going in at halftime to answer the question “what are we doing here?” and then recalibrating the game plan before coming back out on the field.
So before I go, I would like to leave you with some thank yous and a few things to consider:
Whether it was the “before times” of pre-COVID, virtually via zoom, or during the masked and socially distanced times after, and beyond, there are so many interactions and moments that have changed my life for the better (not including the daily academic accomplishments that pushed you outside of your comfort zone). Like many of you, the things that mean the most usually don’t have to deal with anything from a specific lesson. For me it’s things like:
Checking in on Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom and comparing how far along in the game we were or how much Spiderman: Miles Morales was played over break
Discussing the latest episodes of Rick & Morty, X-Men ‘97, Hearstopper and how you could be rewatching the entire series of Grey’s Anatomy from the beginning (again)
Hanging the LAFC “Together for Los Angeles” fan towel to remind you of who is truly LA’s team - but congrats on the recent trophy
Comparing notes on the Harry Styles, Beyonce, Frank Ocean, Tame Impala, Gorillaz, Olivia Rodrigo or Taylor Swift album you were listening to
Staying on Zoom after a class during the pandemic so your siblings could ask questions about what they overheard, or to just say hi through the computer and interact with someone
Running into each other at a BLM event
Discussing Tarantino and other directorial styles in the early days of online learning and COVID
Sharing a Halloween over Zoom during Covid and geeking out over the Ninja Turtles and other costumes you were all hiding behind your blank screens, and getting recommendations on all the anime that I need to watch and read
Finding out how many of you are phenomenal artists that doodle in your notebooks, leave pictures and messages on Post-Its, paint pictures of my dogs (who you saw via zoom during Covid)
Debating the merits of classical music compared to modern hip-hop and which one we should listen to in class
Getting to read your short story drafts or being recommended various books, including what is now one of my favorites (Braiding Sweetgrass), and trading comics
Discussing lifting and workout routines
Eating waffles while trying to stay warm before the Rose Bowl Half Marathon
Listening to you all talk to our river guide about his life in Costa Rica, hike that volcano, and plan a birthday surprise for another student on that Costa Rica trip
The quick head nod, fist bump, or “hey” when we ran into each other at Target, or at your job at the Hollywood Bowl, Staples Center (before it was Crypto), or Citizens Market
Seeing you at the grocery store after you graduated and reminding us of that forensics video we watched when you were in 7th grade
You all have taught me more about kindness, hope, and empathy than I could have ever imagined and through your actions, conversations, and questions reminded me that kindness is free. Thank you for being you and feeling like you could share that. Don’t stop evolving and being your authentic self. It’s difficult, but we need you to be you.
Lastly, the education system WORKS FOR YOU, YOU ARE THE BOSS.
You will come across teachers, coaches, principals, and others who will try to intimidate or mislead you. They do it because they are insecure about their ability to connect with you about things that are important to your future. Don’t let their insecurity to change take away from the education and resources that you are entitled to and deserve. Advocating for something better and asking questions will make them uncomfortable, but it will make sure you get what you deserve and leave it better than it was before.
Tired of carrying around all your books, materials, and sports equipment? Why did they put the lockers there if you can’t use them? Other schools in other neighborhoods do, why can’t you? Organize your classmates and parents and show up to the School Board meetings to demand access and action.
Exhausted and frustrated that you are constantly taking standardized tests, but not given enough time to learn the actual material on the tests? Organize and demand less standard testing. It's already happening elsewhere in the district.
Overheating outside because they removed greenspace for asphalt and concrete? Want better, healthier food options on campus? Are your clothing choices criticized and enforced unevenly among all students? Does your grade in a class get affected by non-academic factors that seem to change without notice and from class to class? As a student, you have a bill of rights. So get informed, organize a plan, and have your voices heard and lead the way. Change takes time, effort, and persistence.
Don’t let the pressure of getting “good grades” get in the way of asking questions about the world around you. Don’t let perfection get in the way of progress - be persistent. Build a foundation of knowledge, question everything, and know that mistakes are the greatest teachers.
Anybody that tells you they have it all figured out is lying to you, we are all just figuring it out as we go. Know this: you are powerful beyond measure, and we’re all better for having witnessed it.
Instead of settling for “how it’s always been,” ask yourself “what are we doing here?”
- Fitz